SELF-LOVE: A LIFETIME PROCESS
From my experience so far, I think that the concept of self-love is one that cannot be mastered overnight, it’s a gradual process. A process of resenting parts of yourself, then coming to terms with them and falling in love with them. Albeit, there are parts of yourself that you just love from the beginning, it’s the norm that you open your eyes to at the beginning and so it’s the only form that you know and love.
While growing up, I had parts of myself, physical appearance and behavior that I struggled a lot to accept. I’m still in the process of completely accepting some of these attributes, one of those I had issues with was my curiosity.
Now what comes to your mind is that most people are curious. Well yes, but mine is in a wondrous way. I see something and my insides literally ache to get to know about it, and then something I know about it leads me to another one and I just go on and on. It’s like a trait in me that account for most of my behavior. I love to read books because book covers or title excite me and gets me curious, I open a book to read and I find out the theme or plot it centers around, then get on Google to find out all about the plot, or sometimes about the author, read their story and stalk them on all social media pages. I see something beautiful and I’m wondering about how it was made, the next minute I’m thinking of ways to learn to make something like that too. Gradually, I became a religious lover of books, I discovered the power I can wield with my pen even from the corner of my room, I discovered the things I can learn just by typing a word on the net.
Of course, there are the down sides of it too which was why I had to struggle to accept curiosity as a part of me. It is said that some things are better left unknown right? But my mind doesn’t know that, a friend says something to me and before I know it, I’m drilling him/her about the full gist or full meaning, something I definitely could do without, sometimes I get warned but I wouldn’t even hear because at the point all I’m concerned about is my addiction to knowing things and I end up getting my head messed up, or getting myself into complicated situations. This, more than once led me to blaming myself for my inquisitiveness and wondering if I’d be better if I was just normal, and not crazy about getting to know things.
Another thing I am amazing at is analyzing situations and thinking nonstop about things. Doing that about my situation led me to concluding that curiosity is one of the best things in my life, after all, I wouldn’t have become a lot of the things that I am if I wasn’t so curious. So what if it’s led me into one or two troubles? So what if it doesn’t always work out for the best? I could live and deal with that, and in fact cannot live without my thirst for endless knowledge. After all, in the words of Albert Einstein – The important thing is to not stop questioning, curiosity has its own reason for existence.