TO THE SINGLE MOM: GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS

If this post caught your attention, you’re probably a single mom. Maybe you were never married, but had a baby, and have to do everything on your own. Perhaps, you’re previously or newly divorced or widowed and find yourself shouldering all the responsibility. Maybe you’re amongst the lucky gals that have a positive relationship with your kids’ dad, and receive financial and hands on support. Or you’re in the group who doesn’t get any support from the father, financial or hands on, or support from anyone else for that matter. Single motherhood may look different because not every situation is the same, but what every single mom has in common is having to run a household on her own with little time to spare for herself.  I know, because I am a single mom too. I have raised 3 boys on my own after my divorce in 2009 and then had a new baby in 2015 with a man I never married and no longer have a relationship with. Two of my four sons are now grown. My 22 year old is out on his own. My 19 year old still lives at home with me and the  younger 2 who are 10 & 3. I do not receive regular child support, but I am fortunate to have hands on support from my ex-husband.

A day in my life feels like I am running from the minute I open my eyes until I close them again. I have to get my younger two boys up and ready for school and daycare. The 10 year old limps around pouting about having to go to school. I have to stay on him to get dressed, brush his teeth and hair, and to make his lunch. The baby who is 3 is so sweet and giggly in the morning. He just wants to play. I feel bad that I have to rush through his morning and get him ready for daycare, but we are on a time crunch. I know you feel me! Then loading them up in the car, getting the small one to his destination, the older one to his, and finally surfing off to work.

Work is a bit of a “get away” for me. I have an amazing career. I run a Aesthetic practice. You can read more about what an Aesthetician is on my blog IbrowStudio.net/blog. I get to chat with ladies all day while performing beautifying treatments. It’s a lot of fun! After a long day at work, I rush from the studio, to make it to daycare pick up on time. Which I am usually late. I try SO HARD to be there on schedule, but it doesn’t always work that way. Especially in an appointment based business.

After picking up the little one, I go home, make dinner, homework, chores, and other demands that need my attention. The 10 year old has a lot, and I mean a lot, to say about his day, ideas he has, or videos he likes. The baby just wants to play and have my undivided attention. Sometimes I feel dizzy with all the chatter directed at me. Their joyful faces and their excitement are so precious. It makes me feel guilty when I have to say,” mom is busy”, and not give them my full attention. When I get dinner on the table, we make a point to turn off all electronics and just be together for a moment uninterrupted. Where I can just focus on them. But eating just doesn’t take as long as cooking. So, in no time I am off to the rest of the evening chores; putting the dinner dishes away, picking up toys, giving baths etc. Then, if I don’t fall asleep while standing up, we read a book or watch a show together. Come morning, we do it all over again.

When you carry all of the responsibility for rearing children, providing, and taking care of the home and yard, the demands and routine of it all can leave little time to pursue personal endeavors. Even a simple exercise routine is tough to fit in. Let alone time to manifest your dreams. So it’s easier to just shut out your dreams. I totally get it. However, I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t stop dreaming. Even amongst the hustle and bustle of doing it all for your family and doing it well. You should open yourself up to pursuing yourdreams. I know. I know. Where’s the time? This is where you have to be creative. Today, as I write this article, I am in between clients. Will I finish writing or proofreading today? Probably not. It might take me a week to work on this piece. I take what time I do have and use it. For me, that means bite size amounts of time. One sentence here, one sentence there.  When it is important to you and something you enjoy, it doesn’t feel like another thing to tick off your list. It is actually life giving. The energy you get from putting action into your dreams fills your cup. You might use your lunch break, stay up 30 minutes later or get up 30 minutes earlier to make what you want happen.

I already know you’re strong. You’re a single mom. You keep your fort down, kids clean and fed, have the house and yard taken care of, and your bills paid. Now, dear one, put you on the list of priorities too. Investing in yourself will bring about rewards; may it be financial, emotional, or physical. Whatever you put your constant energy into will prosper. It may take a little time since you can’t invest a huge chunk of time & money. That’s ok. Do you remember the story of the tortoise and the hair? It’s ok to be the tortoise because you still finish the race. It may appear slow, steady, very, very slow. But remember how this story ends? The tortoise won because he didn’t give up. He didn’t get discouraged as he watched the hair race by. He just kept going. Likewise, keep going. Don’t give up on your hopes and wishes. Pour into yourself like you do everything else. Don’t shoot down your dreams because you’re a struggling single mom. Let that be even more fuel to make your dreams happen. This is your time, use your focused energy a little each day, to make your dreams come true. Don’t give up on you.

Today, set an intention to focus on a dream or goal you want to bring into fruition. Make a commitment to yourself and find your pockets of time and put them to good use. The following are affirmations you can use everyday to focus your mindset.

Affirmations for Manifestation

I am a capable. 

I have inner strength and I know this because I have been tried by fire. 

I combine capability with strength as I focus on my dreams and goals. 

I am creative. I use my creativity as I care and provide for my family. I extend my creativity to my dreams and goals. 

I give myself permission to take slow, steady, focused action. 

I will keep going in the direction of my dreams and goals, even if it seems like everyone else is racing by me. 

My constant focused effort will manifest great things. I know if I stop no growth is possible. 

I direct my focus and energy to accomplishing my dreams and goals, everyday. 

I see opportunities around me.

I am steady and focused.

I am ready to manifest my dreams and goals. 

Breathe in slow and deep, and exhale slow and long. Ahhhh. Can you feel it? Are you getting that clear focus on what you want to accomplish? Good. Hold that feeling. If you get discouraged because of time, money, or energy, go back to this feeling. Use the affirmations daily to keep your mindset focused. Lastly, purpose every day to use your pockets of time proactively.

You may have never imagined yourself having to face single motherhood. But you know what? You’re doing a good job, and you’re handling it with grace. What a beautiful thing to show your children that even if life isn’t exactly how you’d hoped it would be, that you can take deliberate action to create your best life, and accomplish your dreams and goals. No one can take that away from you, or make you feel less than. So don’t listen to the noise around you, because honey, its just, noise. Listen… Do you hear your inner voice saying you can? It’s right! You can! And you will. Stay focused, go slow, keep steady, and get ready for the harvest because it’s coming.

P.S. I finished this article on Saturday afternoon on the 22nd of December during my 3 year olds nap. Today I went grocery shopping, took my 10 year old to his basketball game, did makeup for a client, finished writing and proofreading this article. Later, I have a house to get cleaned up from the week and ready for Christmas. It never ends but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love my little family and know I am blessed getting to be momma bear to these little cubs.

Are you a single mom? Do you relate to this article? Have you set your dreams down? Do you feel stuck in a routine? How many spare pockets of time can you find to work on your goals? Are you currently dedicating some energy towards your dreams and goals? Comment below and share your thoughts.

 

Please take a moment to  Nicole!

Women With Gifts Guest Blogger

Nicole Dionne is a Holistic Aesthetician, Brow Designer, and Makeup Artist. She has been in the beauty industry for nearly 20 years. She is 41 years old, mother of four, a yogi, reiki master, vegetarian, lady boss, and beauty blogger.  Nicole loves to inspire women to look and feel their best. She believes an empowered woman is capable of fulfilling her life’s purpose. Inspiring that empowerment in others, through beauty, is her passion. 

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Read my blog at https://www.ibrowstudio.net/blog/

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