Four Steps to Overcoming Fear
Most of us will not even acknowledge our fears because as women our instinct shapes us to be brave. We see fear… We hear fear… We smell fear but as women we are too busy to be fearful because we were designed to be brave. However, sometimes, rare times or maybe even occasionally, we allow fear to attack our heart…. Because we are so strong, those moments of attack will not happen often but when or if they happen—–BE READY!
What do you do when you are fearful? Why does fear send us packing when we are fighters by nature? Below are a few ways to fight though fears or anxieties.
First let me just say that fear is very sneaky because if you try to bottle up that you are scared then you tend to isolate yourself. Instead of going into hiding take a moment and TALK….
Yes, talk until you are tired of hearing your own voice. I don’t recommend talking to just anyone about your personal information but find someone you can trust and talk their ear off. Some people welcome it! Talking prevents you from going into your shell and having a pity or woe is me type party which is what a lot of us tend to do when we are alone as a result of fear.
There’s the fear with reason and there’s the fear without reason and they both hold the same effect. For example, when going for a job interview, getting married, having kids or etcetera those are justified fears. On the other hand, there the fear that comes and you don’t know why it came and why it even exists but it doesn’t stop the fear from tugging on your emotions. My suggestion is to write…. Believe it or not, we write our best when we have a lot swimming in our heads.
You may think I’m weird but I keep a lot of cards around just for this particular reason. Even at times when I don’t know what to write about, I have cards for every occasion and I just start writing and sending the greeting cards off.
- Face Your Fears
The more we face what makes us fearful, we can better rationalize our thoughts and come up with solutions before we actually have problems. Sometimes the best way to solve problems are working backwards. Think of potential obstacles that could double to cause fear and write down solutions for those potential issues. So essentially this technique is similar to creating a Pros vs. Cons list but instead you are creating a Problems vs. Solutions list. On one side of the paper you have your potential problem or why I feel fearful side and then the other side should have potential solutions.
Treat yourself to a big helping of you! Sometimes fear steps in when we are depleted and feel overwhelmed. Do whatever you need to relax. The first step to relaxing is reflecting on you and how GREAT you are. Whether it’s getting a manicure or pedicure, reading a book or taking a bath with your favorite bath beads or bath oils, take time for you and relax. If you need relax trust that life can wait. Some people using shopping as a relaxing tool, but it personally hasn’t worked for me. Shopping for me is like an energy drink, you feel like you’re on cloud nine when you drink it then afterwards you crash…
Another way to fight fear or anxiety is internalizing where fear developed from. Write down when you have moments of fear. Some fear comes from doubt. Some fear comes from the unknown-not knowing what’s next. If we could sit down and think about, we could create a full-blown list of fear… it’s effects and how to cope with it. For now, just use these steps…~LK