When do we say enough is enough? Sometimes it feels like we live in a society where enough is never enough. We are always striving to stay ahead and time isn’t always on our side. Our lives are in constant motion. We seem to put everyone and their needs ahead of our own. Why do we feel guilty when we want to say no to someone? Being selfless is a wonderful quality; what is it they say? “It takes a village…”? Everyone needs help from time to time but you can’t do everything yourself. Learn to know when it’s okay to stop being selfless and remove the negative from being selfish. Learn to take care of you first. Below are 5 times it’s okay to be selfish…
1. It’s okay to be selfish when you need to help yourself before you can help anyone else. Some people aren’t always satisfied with who they are or the direction their lives are heading. Yet they continue to be the support for others, neglecting their own path. Stop going thru life day to day, helping others to fulfill their needs and desires. Take care of your own first. It’s okay to say no. No one is going to benefit if you are not who you want to be. This is where I want you to be selfish. Yes, in the beginning those who have counted on you to handle their lives for them may be little upset, the first time you say no. That’s okay. In the end they will (should) respect you more. This is your time to shine. Sleep in, cuddle up in your favorite chair and read, take a walk on the beach; we all need that time to discover who we are. Everything will fall into place and your life will be enhanced once you make your life about you.
2. It’s okay to be selfish when it’s time to end a relationship. Friendships and/or relationships don’t always last forever. Some relationships are not meant to be. People are in our lives for reasons we may not always understand. Whether to teach us something we needed to learn, overcome something, or to help them. As soon as that purpose is served it may be time to move on. We stay in these friendships or relationships because we don’t want to hurt the other person; it is easier for us to stay. We are hurting ourselves by doing this. There comes a time when you need to end this relationship to open new chapters in your life. You need to remember to not feel guilty about this. We all know in our hearts when a friendship or relationship is not good for us. It’s okay to be selfish and do what is best for you.
3. It’s okay to be selfish when you’re sick. Have you ever gotten that phone call or text, “I know you’re sick but…” – before you throw your phone, remember that you are allowed sick days, gather your strength, and prepare yourself to say NO. You need time for you at this point to recover. Don’t let the guilt of saying no jeopardize rebuilding your strength and overcoming your illness. You are under no obligation to return any text messages or phone calls. Turn it off. Take the time you need to rest. They will be there when you feel better.
4. It’s okay to be selfish when you need a break. Negativity can be draining. It’s hard sometimes not to get caught up in negativity when you feel surrounded by it. You are not obligated to be a part of this, you are in control of the way you perceive your world. You can’t always be responsible to change the perceptions or emotions of others. Everyone needs to take a breather sometimes. When you find that you need some alone time, unplug and spend some time with yourself. Clear your calendar and take time to recharge.
5. It’s okay to be selfish when you’re the one that needs help. Seeking help is not as taboo as it once was. Life isn’t always easy. Life can be hard, sad, ugly, overwhelming, etc.; sometimes we are the one that needs help to get thru it. The bravest thing you can do is recognize that you actually need help and reach out for it. Never be ashamed for being strong enough to lean on someone else.
Starting today be the best you possible, and live up to the potential that has always been there. Don’t look back and see that your life is not where you want it to be. In order for this to happen, you have to be selfish sometimes.
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