Five ways to love yourself fully in a society that constantly tries to convince you that you’re never really enough
We live in a time, where women especially are constantly targets for society to pin certain ideals on. Young women are expected to fulfill all these ever-changing beauty ideals of having the perfect life with the perfect body and perfect relationship and perfect job and to somehow have it all together. Mothers are expected to go the gym, work full time jobs, be home in time to make home cooked meal every single day and take care of the home all whilst never complaining. Everywhere you look, on the internet, television and magazines there’s advertisements advertising some magical products to clear your skin or a new fat busting workout or pill to “get rid of those last few kilos”. It seems as if we just can’t catch a break without being reminded that there is something we need to work on but the truth is, none of those ideals that they try to portray exist because we are all simply imperfect and that’s okay. Here are five ways to make sure you always remember that it’s okay to not have everything all together because no one really does.
Give yourself a pat on the back
Whether you are a young student just beginning her life or a mom or a working woman – whoever you are reading this right now, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re enough and you’re doing the best you can. I know sometimes it feels like all you see are the flaws and things you feel you need to improve on, but take a step back and look at how much you’ve achieved and how much you’re taking on and marvel at your strength and tenacity. It takes a strong, courageous and bold woman to do everything you’re doing & to do so without ever complaining or wanting anything in return. In the words of the female mogul, Kris Jenner, “you’re doing amazing sweetie”.
You’re not a bad person for being selfish sometimes
As women, we are natural givers and nurturers. We continue giving until we have nothing to give anymore and somehow still find a way to keep giving. It’s admirable, yes, but sometimes it’s okay to say no. You have the right to choose yourself sometimes, to put yourself first and to take care of yourself. One thing I’ve learned is you cannot pour from an empty cup. You need to take time off to pour back into yourself. Take an afternoon to go get your nails done with your girlfriends, or do them yourself at home. Take yourself out on a date every now and then, go eat somewhere by yourself. You’ve been eyeing a pair of shoes for the past couple of months ? Spoil yourself and get it. Your boss is asking you to work another long night without pay ? Say no and go home and sit in front of the television or even just get sleep. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, but do something that makes you feel good and that makes you happy, even if it’s for a couple of hours. Give love to yourself because if you don’t, who will?
Enjoy your pasta.
Here’s the thing- the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine, enjoy your pasta. We are constantly told what “beautiful” looks like, but it’s all a lie. It’s not about going to the gym everyday and drinking green juices and never enjoying carbs. Yes, that’s healthy but it’s not how to be beautiful and socially desirable. The key to being a beautiful woman is simply deciding that you are one. It’s all about self-confidence and that begins from within. You are beautiful, no matter what shape or size or height you are – you don’t conform to what society thinks it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful because you are you and no one can ever take that away from you. So wear whatever you want to wear and feel good about it and I promise you, that inner beauty and self confidence will radiate to your exterior.
Surround yourself with positivity
There is nothing more important than cultivating positive energies all around you. You can’t feel good about yourself if you’re in an environment that doesn’t make you feel good or you’re with people that don’t make you feel good. I personally have made it a point to only surround myself with positive people only and it made the world of a difference. Trust me, you can do without that one friend that always has something bad to say about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. That negativity stays around you and will make you not feel your best. Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with the right people and things.
“the” Instagram life is fake
I included this because I feel like we live in an age where social media has such a huge impact on our daily lives but you need to remember that those Instagram models that make you so envious and “depressed” because you don’t have their body or life or travel as much as them are not real. The thing with social media is that it’s most people simply putting up this front of who they want you to think they are. On social media , you only post the good things that happen, never the bad. Remember that everyone has their own problems and flaws and insecurities. No one has a perfect life so cut yourself some slack, we’re all in this together.
I hope these five points help you get one step closer to realizing that you are enough, have always been enough and will always be enough.
Hi there, my name is Nonsi Mshengu and I am a 20 year old beauty, fashion and lifestyle blogger from South Africa. I am an individual who is extremely outgoing, loves laughing and whose only mission in life is to spread love, joy and inspiration wherever I go.