To fully understand my story, you have to know my history with brokenness. I was a broken girl from as far back as I can remember. My first fracturing came when my parents divorced when I was too young to even remember my parents together. My dad got custody of my two sisters and me while my two brothers went to live with my mom. Little did I know, we would not see our mother again for several years. My dad was broken. My mom was broken. My whole family was broken.
All the years of fighting and the tug of war of divorce left a vulnerable child without adequate protection who became an easy target for others. The next fracturing came from sexual abuse from not just one, but also numerous people who were in my life from the age of seven to around twelve. From that abuse I became good at self-blame and began my search for love in all the wrong places. As I grew up I attracted broken people myself. I lived most of my life trying to pretend I was not broken. I was out of balance in almost all areas of my life. I was a person that carried those secrets for far too many years. I learned to operate in a false self, burying my secrets deep. Smiling on the outside to cope with those feelings of guilt and shame from my buried secrets, I tried to medicate with alcohol, drugs, shopping, and sex. There is no balance in brokenness.
I married a wonderful man in 1996 that did not know of my brokenness. When I became a mother three years later to twins, I was fractured by post-partum depression and then medically-induced menopause after a total hysterectomy. With my emotions now out of control I became a workaholic to try and escape the despair I felt, as I became a broken mother. I ran my family into credit card debt three different times from buying things to compensate for my guilt of being an absent mother. I also bought things to fill all the aching voids I felt inside.
Read the remainder of this story on BROKEN GIRLS
My hope is that everyone will begin to Live R.E.S.T.O.R.E.D.
Michelle Bollom is Founder of Restored Ministries and is happily married to Joe for 18 years and mom to twins Connor and Curran. Michelle resides in the North West Suburbs of Houston, TX. She is a Lover of Jesus, words, and enjoys encouraging others.