Guest Post|Its all in the open..no secrets or no shame

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the wa (3)

The letter from the health department read like this in so many words: “Your lifestyle has caught up with you and you have been naughty . You have contracted something possibly, but we wanna make sure it’s positively HIV.”
Now, it didn’t mention those 4 capital letters (AIDS), but knowing that was the only test I took, didn’t make it better. So I called the number and made the appointment, now reflecting on all the days of my enjoyment, considering I am only 23, with plenty of life ahead of me, and yes I have BIG dreams.”

Two days from now comes the answer to “it”, do I or do I not have is the question, I reminisce on all the days I was promiscuous and WOW, I hadn’t realized how reckless I had been not listening to the words of the wise.
The day has come and in the office I begin to pray “Dear God, please forgive me of my sins I didn’t know what I was doing.” My heart begins the beat of fear; the butterflies have come out of their cocoons, floating in my belly as I enter the room.
The counselor comes in with his paper and pen, I try to see his facial expression, but there is none. “Well Mr. Delaware your test came back positive, so according to the CDC that means you have HIV, but don’t give up hope you can still live your life, just not as carefree as you may wanna be.”

He broke everything down and gave me some literature to read. My next steps were to see a doctor for more testing and locate the one who infected me, a task I focus on fearfully.I get out my old black books and cry as I sit on my bed, here I am 23, HIV positive and scared. WHY! I scream this is just a dream, but the pinch didn’t wake me, just bruised me. I’m dying because my ignorance has overcome me.No not my ignorance there hatefulness. A young black boy with a dream of becoming more than what they said I would. The words I laughed at and said no not me lol.. but HIV HAS NO DISCRIMINATION BETWEEN AGE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, GENDER OR RACE.

I DIDN’T DO THIS SO YOU COULD LAUGH. I DID THIS TO SHOW U BE AWARE AND BE SAFE MY LIFE HAS CHANGED AND I THANK GOD FOR His grace and mercy. For covering and leading me because the path i was taking was the definitely the wrong one. Lord keep me day by day in a pure and perfect way i want to live, i want to live on in a building not made by man.

I AM DAVID J DELAWARE AND I AM HIV + AND I WANT TO BE A MOTIVATOR FOR PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE OF ME NOT BEING ABLE TO LOVE LIKE I WANNA LOVE. AND HEAR ALL THE NEGATIVE THING PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY. BUT WALK IN MY SHOES ONE DAY AND I PROMISE YOU WILL HAVE SOME KIND OF REMORSE FOR HOW I FEEL, WEAK, SICK, WEARY IN PAIN AND HURT
AND I THANK MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR BEING BY MY SIDE AND I LOVE YOU ALL
. TAKE SOME TIME AND PRAY FOR ME.AND WATCH GOD CHANGE THINGS.

Read more about David Delaware in Examiner

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These stories are REAL stories that give an account of either sexual abuse or domestic violence. It is our goal to share as many stories as possible in order to stop domestic violence and sexual abuse and start healing in our nation. If you would like to tell your story please email it to survivors@womenwithgifts.com. In order to duplicate or re~publish any article from our website you must have the written consent from the founder of Women With Gifts.

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