Too often, young or old, we question our own bodies, existence and livelihood. Are we really cute enough? Are we really doing what we should be doing? Are we really at the ideal size? Are we into the one that others believe we should be into? Are we going down the path of least resistance if you will? Are we…???
Conversely, the topic of self-acceptance goes far beyond introspective thoughts. From the time we are in school to whatever age you are of today, someone seems to feel the need to assess who you are. This yet baffles me. But I digress.
In school, children pick, prod and bully one another by calling each other names. At home, siblings, do the same. Sadly enough, this continues into the adulthood as some often find the need to exhibit a never-ending copious amount of cruelty and nosiness upon others for whatever reason.
What can you do? What should you do? How do you stop the outer voices and get in sync with your inner man when you hear comments that annoy, frustrate, humiliate or angst you about the validity spun by his/her words?
If you are tender in age or graciously aging, we ponder questions like — Why did he/she say that about me? Was that (comment) really necessary? Are my hips really too curvy? Am I really unattractive because I am dark-skinned? Will I ever be anything because no one in my family made it and I have always been told I am just like…? Will my well established career only earn me ‘gold diggers’? Are my toes too long or awkward? Is my nose too thin or should I get it fixed? Are my friends really genuine because we are so different? Should I get my breasts reduced because people never equate my education to my qualifications because they can’t see beyond them? Will I ever get a second-chance despite my teenaged boyish problems? Why is it I like this person (LGBT) versus that person? Am I going to fit in because I am bi-racial? Will my family and friends accept my choices?? Will I find something to do as I approach retirement as I still really have it? Will they respect my wisdom not just look at me? I would challenge you to pump your brakes and halt; period!!!
Life is more than a bowl of cherries. Sure this idiom which alludes to all being well and life being carefree is true. However it is definitely not all inclusive for life is definitely vaster than we present to the innocent newborn we hold in our arms. I would challenge you to plunge into the depths of the water and say life is more like a bowl filled with mango, papaya, pears, apples, cherries and nectarines. Essentially this means the essence of our being is more relatable, hence this unique bowl of fruit, because we are all encompassed with various sizes, textures, hues and complexities. To be candid, we are more similar than not due to our invariable rough edges, bruises, and imperfections which are not always visible to the naked eye but yet exist…
Self-acceptance is not just ‘liking oneself as we are’ per the definition indicated by the Word Net Web. It is truly so much more. I would challenge one and all to consider expanding the definition as such. Self-acceptance is a term which means one recognizes our own being as being free of any excellence (by your own standard or that imposed by others) as we are all conditionally bound to inadequacies. Self-acceptance should also mean to legitimize oneself in that you authorize yourself to be complete and valid in your own right despite your past, present, or who/what you are associated with by fellowship. Self-acceptance also should be dually noted that it is clearly distinct from the word self-esteem. While self-esteem speaks of being valuable or worthwhile, self-acceptance is different in that it is a comprehensive understanding of oneself existing just as we are, simply stated!!
Have you met Tracey?