Motherhood|Single mom’s confession of trying to be friends with her children

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I’m sure we’ve all made the mistake of being more of our child’s friend instead of being a parent. I’m sure we’ve all attempted the “friendship” parenting method at one point in our child’s life or another, but then switch gears when that parenting style doesn’t really work. I personally found myself attempting to be my children’s best friend when I was a single mother of 2. I wanted to be my children’s best friend because I felt guilty of being a single parent and I felt responsible for them not having a dad in their life. I also felt guilty about working so many hours and having limited amount of time to spend with them.
Now I can ask myself, “did working so much make me a bad parent?” At the time that I was a single parent my answer would have been, “yes”. Now, after having more years of experience as a parent I honestly feel that working long hours actually made me a strong parent. I was a strong parent because I didn’t sit on my ass and wait on a welfare system to feed my kids. When my children were younger I didn’t feel confident about my later more experience thoughts about parenting because I allowed the guilt to consume my thought process about the matter. The downside to being a single parent was the point that I forgot how to parent. I figured since my kids had already experience the devastation of my recent divorce, it was my responsibility to give them back a sense of normalcy of having a “real” family. A “normal” family for me was being their friend and not really enforcing any rules or implementing any discipline. This was my biggest mistake as a parent!! As a result of my “friendship” type parenting, my kids became disrespectful at times and they spent less time doing chores that they were asked to do.
Later I learned that I am really my children’s friend, but I’m a friend that cares enough to implement rules because if I don’t a stranger from the streets or even from the jail cell will. I am a friend that will show my children right from wrong because  friends don’t allow their friends to be ignorant.

Am I the only parent that have had this experience?
Have you met LaNette?

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8 thoughts on “Motherhood|Single mom’s confession of trying to be friends with her children

  1. I’ve heard it said that we’re not supposed to be our children’s friends. Not sure I agree with that. If we’re their friend and nothing else, that’s a problem, but if friends are people we seek out to enjoy their company, share special outings with, have meaningful discussions with, and laugh together–why can’t we be their friend as well as their parent?
    Looking forward to reading more!

    Liked by 1 person

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